There’s a subject I’d like to touch on today that it’s a little bit sensitive to some people. As we strive to achieve greatness, actually, let me step back. I had a client go to a wedding a couple of years ago, and shared with me on a coaching call. “Coach, it’s really weird. It’s different now, my friends that I went to law school with are all different.” I said, “What do you mean, Eric?”
By attending the wedding, he observed a difference between him and a lot of the people he once associated with. When we had our conversation, I told him, “Well, Eric, we’ve been working together for a couple of years and you’ve been working on getting better, achieving greatness, doing whatever it takes to build a better organization, becoming a better leader, work on your blind spots, and if they haven’t, you’ve created a gap.” He then replies, “I don’t know if I necessarily need or want to hang out with them anymore.” Interesting, sensitive conversation.
Here’s how it works. There are 31 major causes of failure of which one of them is not aiming above mediocrity. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that are stuck there. If you can’t aim above being average, you will never achieve success. Some people don’t like going outside their comfort zone. They don’t like taking risks. They like the status quo. They’re afraid of what is possible, so they’ll let fear repel them instead of embracing it. Unfortunately, these individuals have a hard time with others exceeding results, and achieving greatness, because it shows them that they can do the same, but they don’t want to see that. They don’t want to hear that.
If you’re one who is striving for greatness and doing whatever it takes to achieve your goals, reading the books, working with a coach, continually going outside your comfort zone, doing the things you don’t necessarily want to do on your own, but doing them because you know it makes you better, you will most definitely begin to create a gap between you and others.
Sometimes it’s with family members. As you’re achieving greatness and your family members are just fine with the status quo, they might begin to resent you. Understand that. But here’s the choice you need to make. Are you here to stay friends with those who are holding you back, or are you here to find new friends and colleagues who are going to pull you up? That’s a choice that’s difficult for a lot of people to make. Yes, we have relationships. Yes, we don’t want to hurt feelings. We want to be friends. We want to be liked. We want to be nice. But sometimes you just have to cut the ties.
An associate of mine and I went to a Jack Canfield Conference a few years back. Jack had us do an exercise. Take a piece of paper, fold it in half, and on one side, write down all the people you need to disassociate with that are holding you back. And on the other side, write down all the people that you’re associated with that are moving you forward. Fortunately, when I got to thinking about the exercise, I realized, “Huh,” I had no people on the left side of the exercise. Why? Because I went through the process over time as I grew.
Accept yourself for who you are, someone who is destined for greatness, but also accept you cannot satisfy everybody, and there’s going to be some that you’re going to leave behind, don’t feel obligated to stay where they’re at. Be obligated to strive where you’re going. I hope I gave you something to think about today. If some of you are struggling with this, feel free to reach out.
COACH MICHAEL DILL is an Award-Winning Certified Business Coach, global speaker, and published author. He is a proud Action Coach Franchise partner as well as the President of Power & Ice Wealth Creation a strategic leadership company that works with business owners, leaders, teams, and entrepreneurs to both develop a systematized and structured organization while accelerating their mindset, efficiencies, and effectiveness to grow both personally and professionally to achieve extraordinary results. He brings more than 40 years of business and entrepreneurial experience in his leadership, team training, and mentoring practice. Businesscoachmichaeldill.com